Figuring out my lack of trust...

I'm slowly starting to realize that my lack of complete faith in Chris is not due solely to my own insecurity. He lies to me, and it takes me hours (sometimes days) to break him down & force him to tell the truth. His reasoning for lying initially has always been that he 'doesn't want to hurt' my feelings. But, how does that play out logically? If that rationale is the one that says it's okay to lie that he's not angry with me when he actually is so angry that he can't see straight (like his reading my blog and being pissed...), then how can I ever believe that he's telling the truth about anything important? Does he still love me? Yes... or he's just trying not to hurt me by telling me the truth. Does he love Heather? No... or maybe??? Follow the path with me. Every important, Earth-shaking question that I've ever asked... is he lying so that my feelings (and my fragile, soap-bubble of a heart) are not shattered under the weight of the truth? How can I not think this? Maybe I am focusing on the negative when I shouldn't be, but it's hard to let this revelation pass by without comment.