D-I-V-O-R-C-E

God, it's taking forever!!! How freaking annoying!

Grrrr...

It's a new button, but it's apparently a pretty good one:
Upon returning from an evening out (ten minutes late, with a tm saying that I was running 10 minutes late...), Chris commented that he's "getting used to it". That stupid little snide remark made me angry enough to momentarily forget that I had turned the bathroom sink on. I noticed the sound of running water too late. There had to have been almost an inch of water on the floor. Ugh. Fortunately, it was the bathroom, so towels were readily available... and the floor is vinyl anyhow. The water did get into the vanity, so I got everything out and as dried off as possible.

The good news:
- The vanity drawers are clean now, and I can reorganize while I'm at it
- Only a few feminine products lost their lives in the flood
- The floor is CLEAN
- No wood floor got wet. (VERY GOOD NEWS!!)

Miss me?

email me at iceheartedb{at}live.com
If I can remember the password, I'll invite you to the new blog.
;-D

If you want access...

I do have my new blog up and running, and I've been fairly busy. ;-)

If you want to read it, though, you'll have to leave me a comment (with your signin name or email)... I'll send you an invite. Since the last big blowout with hubby was so fun, this blog is by invite only. I thought about making it public, but I'm just not willing to do either of the things necessary to ensure that I am blindsided no more:
1. Religiously and zealously delete my browsing history every time I access my blog.
2. Blog only about things that will not hurt anyone's feelings, or alter my blog to cover my ass.

Today is my 36th Birthday, and I feel like I'm getting ready for a change. How interesting!

Figuring out my lack of trust...

I'm slowly starting to realize that my lack of complete faith in Chris is not due solely to my own insecurity. He lies to me, and it takes me hours (sometimes days) to break him down & force him to tell the truth. His reasoning for lying initially has always been that he 'doesn't want to hurt' my feelings. But, how does that play out logically? If that rationale is the one that says it's okay to lie that he's not angry with me when he actually is so angry that he can't see straight (like his reading my blog and being pissed...), then how can I ever believe that he's telling the truth about anything important? Does he still love me? Yes... or he's just trying not to hurt me by telling me the truth. Does he love Heather? No... or maybe??? Follow the path with me. Every important, Earth-shaking question that I've ever asked... is he lying so that my feelings (and my fragile, soap-bubble of a heart) are not shattered under the weight of the truth? How can I not think this? Maybe I am focusing on the negative when I shouldn't be, but it's hard to let this revelation pass by without comment.

House stuff

The new wood floors arrived yesterday... tomorrow I will buy the underlayment and start planning how I will put them in. Wish me luck, as my reputation clearly hinges on how well this goes. ;-P

More later, when I am not buzzed!

You'll have noticed some changes.

I've been advised that leaving my blog address in the computer's IE history is equivalent to "leaving my blog right there on the computer" for anyone to read. So, I'm making my blog a little less accessible. Sorry. It's either that or buy a paper diary with a lock.

If I decide to do something different (still considering it) I'll let you know.